Three
battles. 1850 pts armies. Entire tournament had a special “Nemesis”
rule, which means that any unit who scores first blood automatically
becomes worth 1 victory point to the opponent. I really like this
rule and hope they'll use it every tournament from now on. My list:
STEEL
SLAYERS TASKFORCE:
Brother
Manfred, Librarian – terminator armor, null zone, avenger
Tactical
Squad "Red" – meltagun, combimelta, plasma cannon, rhino
Tactical
Squad "Yellow" – flamer, combiflamer, plasma cannon,
rhino
Tactical
Squad "Green" – flamer, combiflamer, plasma cannon, rhino
5x
Hammernators – land raider godhammer with multimelta
Brother
Hanz, Dreadnought – 2x twinlinked autocannon
Vindicator
– dozer blade
Vindicator
– dozer blade
Devastator
Squad – 3x missile launcher
Aegis
Defense Line – quad-gun
Obviously,
this is an evolution of my list from the previous tournament. I got
rid of the bikes as I didn't require so much anti-tank, and added an
aegis defense line with a quad gun for some much-needed skyfire. I
decided to spend the remaining points on a minimal devastator squad
with three missile launchers, which is the first time I've used
crapastators in a serious list. I did this because 1) someone has to
man the quad-gun, 2) three missile launchers and a BS5 quad-gun are
good against anything, and 3) none of the alternatives (combipred,
two mm/hf speeders, pair of attack bikes, multimelta dread, small
sternguard unit, another HQ) struck my fancy. My original idea was to
have a missile launcher combat squad on the gun, but then I'd be
forced to combat squad even in KP missions, or have an entire 10 men
squad on the job.
FUN
FACT: Blood/Dark Angels pay 130 pts for five devastators with four
missile launchers. My five devs with three missile launchers
cost 135 pts. To the uninitiated, this might seem like a bad case of
codex creep, but they are clearly not acquainted with the Steel
Slayer's own sergeant Jurgen and gunner Albrecht, two great men whose
skill with a quad-gun is legendary, as you shall see soon enough.
FIRST
BATTLE – NENAD'S DAEMONS
Yeah, it's the same guy who tabled me
at the previous tournament. Same list, too. Fateweaver,
bloodthirster, two units of three flamers, two big units of
screamers, nurgle daemon prince, three units of plaguebearers, and a
soul grinder. Kill points. 24” short sides deployment. He goes
first. I deploy in a defensive formation behind my aegis defense
line, with my rhinos up front and my vehicles spaced out in a way
that made it hard/impossible for him to deep strike behind my units
or cover more than one vehicle under a flamer template.
TURN 1:
Night fighting. Fateweaver,
bloodthirster, soul grinder, daemon prince, and two units of
screamers (his desired wave) all get HIT on their scatter dice,
deploying north of my position. I interceptor-fire at the
bloodthirster, achieving nothing. Bloodthirster vector-strikes one of
my vindicators, wrecking it. Screamers turbo over the devastators,
dispatching three missile launcher guys and gunner Albrecht, leaving
sergeant Jurgen all alone.
Now, short of crazy luck, I knew my
army had no hope of beating his, so I decided to disembark everything
except Manfred the Librarian and make the daemons work for their
victory. Null zone is activated. Land Raider scores a penetrating hit
on the soul grinder, but only plinks off a hull point. Two tactical
squads rapid fire the upper screamer unit, killing a few. Remaining
vindicator and the third tac squad fire at the second screamer group,
which is then finished off by the hammernators.
TURN 2:
The rest of the daemons arrive. One
flamer unit gets a mishap and is placed on the opposite corner of the
table, which will prevent it from doing anything for the remainder of
the battle. Fateweaver flies in. Screamers fly into the midst of my
army, assaulting and destroying a rhino and brother Hanz. Flamers
scorch some tacticals. Daemon prince lands and assaults a rhino and a
tactical squad. Bloodthirster lands and assaults the hammernators,
killing their sergeant in a challenge.
Null zone is activated again,
nullifying invulnerable save rerolls from Fateweaver. Tacticals rapid
fire the remaining screamers to death. The LR plinks off another hull
point from the soul grinder. Two out of three flamers are shot back
to the warp. At this point, sergeant Jurgen decides he's had it with
these motherfucking daemons on this motherfucking table, grabs his
quad-gun, and kills frickin' Fateweaver in a single round of
shooting. Like a boss, man. Like a boss.
TURN 3:
Plaguebearers advance towards my
lines. Daemon prince finishes off a tactical squad and immobilizes a
rhino. Bloodthirster slaughters all hammernators except one. The last
one manages to flee combat and ends up running off the table.
Bloodthirster still has 3 wounds left.
Null zone goes off for the third time.
The combined fire from the LR, the quad-gun, and the tactical squads
is too much for the bloodthirster, who succumbs to his wounds. The
vindicator demolishes a few plaguebearers.
TURN 4:
The last flamer jumps in and kills
some tacticals. The daemon prince and the arriving plaguebearers gang
up on sergeant Jurgen and the tacticals at the quad-gun. Soul grinder
shoots the vindicator, shaking it and preventing it from using its
cannon, leaving it at a single hull point.
Null zone again. The last flamer is
destroyed by bolter fire. LR gets yet another penetrating hit on the
soul grinder, and again fails to kill it, reducing it to one HP. The
wounded vindicator moves back behind the defense line.
TURN 5:
Plaguebearers and the daemon prince
assault and lock down the last tactical squad. The daemon prince
performs a multiple assault and blows up the LR. Plaguebearers
assault the vindicator, but fail to do anything.
The vindicator moves aside and gets
off one final shot at the soul grinder, destroying it at long last.
Manfred the librarian walks out of the wreckage of his land raider,
kills one plaguebearer with the avenger, and then assaults them,
killing another one and suffering no wounds in turn. We roll for the
6th turn, but the battle ends. My opponent wins with 13
points to my 8.
AFTERTHOUGHTS:
Quite an entertaining battle. My
reckless last stand ended up working much better than my usual
careful approach. Sergeant Jurgen inflicting 3 wounds on a flying
Fateweaver was epic. Sadly, apart from wasting my hammernators on the
bloodthirster, I don't think I've made any mistakes. This is bad,
because it really highlights how out of sync with the other dexes
daemons are right now. Let's just hope they get a new dex soon, and
that someone sensible (*cough*Phil Kelly*cough*) is the author.
SECOND
BATTLE - NO1'S IMPERIAL GUARD WITH BA ALLIES
Table quarters deployment. Two
objectives, each worth 3 points. He gets first turn. His army
consists of a basilisk, lord commissar, two veteran squads in
chimeras, leman russ vanquisher (big anti-tank gun), leman russ
punisher (big anti-infantry gun), vendetta with another unit of
veterans, stormraven, reclusiarch, big unit of death company, and a
death company dread. My plan is as crude as it gets: close the
distance quickly and kill him in assault/short-range shooting, claim
his objective, and stop him from claiming mine.
TURN 1:
Night fighting. I fail to seize the
initiative. Most of my stuff is outside 36” range and his shooting
does nothing.
I rush forward and pop smoke on most
of my vehicles. My shooting is useless.
TURN 2:
Vendetta and stormraven arrive.
Interceptor-fire takes off a hull point from the stormraven. The
quad-gun is shot and destroyed. He shoots some more at my stuff, but
his rolls suck and nothing else is wrecked.
I move forward and fire at his stuff,
but my rolls are likewise crappy and I don't inflict any real damage.
I make the mistake of not advancing with my land raider and instead
trying to take out his storm raven with snap shots, which doesn't
work.
TURN 3:
Vendetta flies in and blows up brother
Hanz, getting first blood. The rest of his army keeps shooting but
doesn't do a thing.
My combat squads and LR move into
assault range. I finally manage to take out the basilisk, but the
rest of my guns do nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, these are
officially some of the most ineffective shooting phases in 40k
history.
TURN 4:
Death company, veterans, and the dread
all disembark from their fliers. The two vindicators and a rhino are
wrecked. Veterans kill three out of five devastators. Death company
decimates the combat squad holding my objective while the dread
assaults another combat squad, and looses two hull points to krak
grenades. The battery on my camera dies, forcing me to resort to my
cellphone for photos.
Tacticals, hammernators, and Manfred
the librarian all disembark, ready to smash some heads, but shooting
fails again and they end up having to assault a chimera and the
punisher. Hammernators vs chimera fight is as one-sided as you can
imagine. Tacticals, being notoriously bad at assaults, fail to do
anything to the punisher. I have no idea why I didn't just
multiple-assault both vehicles with my hammernators. One of my
tactical squads runs and takes control of the opponent's objective.
The remaining combat squad in my deployment zone and the two
remaining devastators shoot at the veterans, killing some. The devs
then assault them, but their assault doesn't do jack.
TURN 5:
Lots of useless shooting. Death
company kills the last tacticals in my deployment zone. Death company
dread assists the veterans and kills the remaining two devs.
Manfred, having been wounded in the
chimera explosion, runs back into the LR. Veteran squad is wiped out
by tacticals with flamers, while the LR blows up the chimera
containing the lord commissar. Hammernators assault the commissar's
squad and deliver the Emperor's Justice to them, getting Slay the
Warlord. Another combat squad reaches the opponent's objective.
At this point, we both have
linebreaker, the opponent has first blood, I have slay the warlord,
and I'm controlling his objective. I would've won by 3 points, if
only the game had ended on 5th or 6th turn.
Alas, it goes on for two more turns and the opponent manages to
embark the veterans into the vendetta, and then disembark them on my
objective. He also spends two turns shooting at my tacticals on his
objective, kills some, yet ultimately fails to budge them. I keep
trying to wreck his vendetta with my LR (as that would earn me the
nemesis point), but my guns fail me once again. The game ends with
turn 7. Draw.
AFTERTHOUGHTS:
We both had terrible shooting dice,
but it was still a pretty intense match nevertheless. I made a
mistake of not advancing my LR on turn 2, as then I'd be assaulting a
turn earlier. It was doubly stupid because even if I had moved 12”,
it still wouldn't make my LR any less effective vs the stormraven as
I'd still be hitting on 6s.
By the way, I really, really, really
wish vanilla had access to stormraven gunships. I'd instantly replace
my LR with one. Not only would it offer some much-needed skyfire
(even with Jurgen & Albrecht to man it, a quad-gun is still just
a single gun), it would also inspire me to buy an ironclad dread,
too. Let's all pray to the Emperor GW includes it in the next vanilla
dex.
THIRD
BATTLE – STEVA'S BLOOD ANGELS
12” deployment. Mission: the Relic.
I get first turn. His army consists of: mephiston, two squads of five
devastators with four missile launchers, full squad of sniper scouts,
two full squads of assault marines with double meltaguns and power
fist, two baal predators with flamestorm cannons, stormraven, eight
death company with a power fist, and a sanguinary priest. My
intention is to grab the objective on turn 2, then take it back
behind the aegis defense line and camp with it, while maintaining a
kill zone in the middle. My opponent tells me he's going to reserve
everything except the scouts, the dev squads, and mephiston, and
outflank the predators. That's the word he uses: reserve. He
never explains that his assault squads are combat squadded, either.
Keep this in mind for later. He also has a buddy who's acting as his
advisor, so I'm basically playing against two generals, not one. Oh
well.
TURN 1:
Night fighting. I move my flamer
combat squad up to the central building so they can grab the relic on
the next turn, and advance with my land raider and one vindicator so
they can shoot at the scouts in the ruin. I manage to gun down a
scout and a devastator sergeant.
He pulls the surviving scouts behind
the ruin. Mephiston flies forward and assaults the rhino with the
combat squad, blowing it up. One marine is killed in the explosion.
TURN 2:
I'm expecting his army to start
arriving from his table edge (he said he's coming from reserve,
remember?) so I move one of my vindicators out of cover and pop
smoke. Hammernators disembark from the LR and move close to
Mephiston. Mephiston gets shot at a bit and losses two wounds. Combat
squad climbs onto the building and tries to seize the relic, but is
short one inch. Hammernators charge. Mephiston throws a challenge,
which I accept. He kills a terminator sergeant and we remain locked
in combat, which is awesome, because it keeps my hammernators safe
from shooting in his following turn.
Surprise, surprise, my opponent tells
me his assault marines are actually deep striking, and claims he has
told me this during deployment. His stormraven, his assault combat
squads, and one predator all arrive. Melta squads arrive in melta
range of LR and one of my vindicators. One of the assault squads
mishaps and gets placed on the far right corner. Stormraven goes for
the LR, too. Quad-gun interceptor-fires at it, scoring four hits, but
my opponent doesn't want to do evasive maneuvers. I score a single
penetrating hit and stun the stormraven. The predator incinerates 4
out of 5 marines on my left.
Then the following exchange takes place:
Him: “Two meltaguns fire at the LR.”
*rolls
snake eyes*
Me: “Excellent.”
Him: “Crap... Stormraven multimelta
shoots at LR.”
*rolls
to hit, hits, fails to penetrate*
Me (grinning): “Nice, nice, keep it
up.”
Him (biting his lips): “Two
meltaguns shoot at vindicator's side armor.”
*rolls
a 1 and a 2*
Me (laughing and pumping my fist):
“Good job, my man! Good job!”
His turn ends with Mephiston getting
his face busted by the remaining hammernators.
TURN 3:
Vindicators reposition themselves to
get good shooting lanes at the assault marines. The combat squad
finally seizes the relic. The other flamer squad disembarks and rapid
fire the scouts, killing one. Vindicator gets a direct hit on the
melta squad, vaporizing four dudes. The last marine there is then cut
down by autocannon fire. The other melta squad is wiped out by
combined fire from the other vindicator and two plasma cannons.
Snapshots are taken at the storm raven, to no avail. Meltagun combat
squad and the hammernators stomp the sanguinary priest squad, leaving
just the priest alive (he flees combat).
Being stunned, the stormraven cannot
turn and has to keep moving 36”, and ends up flying off the table.
Baal predator turbos into my aegis defense line. The other baal
predator doesn't arrive. There's some impotent shooting. The
sanguinary priest tries to assault the combat squad with the relic,
only to die horribly to dual-flamer overwatch.
TURN 4:
The combat squad with the relic makes
their way down the building and embarks the LR. I pull my
hammernators back in anticipation of the stormraven's arrival. My
entire army shoots at his baal predator, but he passes all his jink
cover saves (I discovered later that baal predators don't have jink
and therefore don't get 5+ cover saves when they turbo-boost, but my
opponent supposedly didn't know that). Brother Hanz assaults it, but
fails to inflict a telling blow.
The second baal predator arrives on my
left. Stormraven arrives and flies to the same spot as before, intent
on blowing up the Land Raider. Sergeant Jurgen & gunner Albrecht
interceptor-fire at it, scoring two hits. Opponent doesn't want to do
evasive maneuvers. I then roll double fives for penetration, getting
two glances and taking off the stormraven's last two hull points. It
crashes spectacularly, taking the entire death company unit with it.
My opponent makes a sad face and surrenders. It was beautiful.
AFTERTHOUGHTS:
I wouldn't want to play against this
guy again. I felt he didn't do a proper job of explaining how his
army works and has withheld information (namely the fact he kept
referring to deep striking as coming from reserve, which to me
is extremely misleading, especially since he has taken care to
explain his baal predators were outflanking, not coming
from reserve, so he was well-aware of the difference), plus he
was an extremely slow player. The God-Emperor must've agreed with me
on this one, seeing as he has cursed his dice and blessed mine. While
I enjoyed tabling his blood angels, the battle ultimately wasn't
decided by tactics, but rather by luck and incomplete information. My
game plan has actually worked out pretty well despite all this, what
with my units remaining mostly safe on my side of the table and his
units dying in kill zones I've prepared for him.
FUN FACT: I used to like Blood Angels
and their successors. Then I learned that they're jealously guarding
the overcharged engine and baal predator STCs and refusing to share
them with the rest of the Imperium because they want to be unique
snowflakes. Not only is this a dick move towards humanity itself,
it's also a dick move towards me because it means I don't get
any tanks in Fast Attack slots. I don't know if you've noticed, but I
love tanks. Spamming them is a strategy close to my heart and
I think it looks really awesome on the tabletop. So fuck blood angels
and their successors. Goddamn Twilight-loving mutants.
OVERALL
AFTERTHOUGHTS:
I don't like devastators and I don't
think they were of much use in this list. When they weren't dead,
their vision was usually blocked by my own vehicles. Aside from
sergeant Jurgen & gunner Albrecht, they didn't really do anything
during the entire tournament. I'm thinking of replacing them with a
mmelta/hflamer dread. No, really. The dread is 20 points cheaper and
it could man the quad-gun in kill points missions, seeing as it's a
model and any model in base contact with the gun can
use it. The rest of the time it could leave the quad-gun duty to a
missile launcher combat squad and just act like a normal dread. With
two vindicators and a LR on the field, it might actually live long
enough to assault something.
I'm not sure Manfred needs terminator
armor. He rarely leaves the LR anyway. Perhaps I should exchange the
dev squad and Manfred's armor for a minimal tactical squad in a
las/plas razorback. Or maybe even get rid of Manfred altogether,
shuffle some points, and give Heinrich von Strahm – my captain with
storm shield, artificer armor, and relic blade – a chance in 6th
edition. He sucks and is overpriced, but at least he'll be useful in
most situations and personal warlord traits won't be wasted on him.
Thus far, Manfred's powers have been situational at best and only
really awesome against daemons, whom I can't beat anyway.
Anyhow, this tournament was doubly
awesome because I got to play against two fully painted armies. I
don't know about you, but a painted force, even if it's only three
basic colors and simple bases, is a lot more enjoyable to play
against (and with) than one or two superbly painted squads surrounded
by a ton of plastic. Looking forward to the next tourney.
6TH
EDITION DARK ANGELS CODEX FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I'm
loving it. Nothing seems over the top, except maybe Azrael. Some
stuff is 5-10 pts cheaper, but other stuff is 5-10 pts more
expensive, so it evens out. Belial doesn't have the rumored 2++ save
and/or heroic intervention, praise the Emperor. Deathwing is awesome,
yet also significantly more expensive than vanilla termies.
Turbo-boosting knights with speeder shroud getting a 2+ cover save
will seem unstoppable until flamers of tzeench kill them all on turn
1 without the DA player being able to do anything about it. Or they
don't go first/opponent seizes the initiative and the shroud and half
of them get gunned down before they can turbo-boost. Or someone
brings a heldrake.
What
I dislike about the new book is that generic HQs (except librarians,
as these are super-cheap and get access to inexpensive 4++ and
not-so-inexpensive-but-still-affordable 3++) are lackluster,
especially considering how strong and army-changing SCs are.
Whirlwinds and assault marines are still terrible, only cheaper now.
Land speeder vengeance is garbage (seriously, aside from deep strike,
how is that thing ever going to survive long enough to get in range
and kill itself with gets hot?), and the two planes would've been
alright if not for the fact vendettas are a bazillion times better.
Really, any sensible DA player is going to want 20-30 guardsmen to
complement his deathwing/ravenwing, not to mention a blob for Azrael
to hide in, so why not take a vendetta too, while they're at it?
Overall,
my first impressions are positive. Sadly, the price tag on Belial and
the deathwing have pretty much shot down my hopes of using them as an
improved version of my usual hammernators. Needless to say, the best
thing about the new DA book is that it heralds good stuff for the
upcoming vanilla codex. Minimal tac squads having access to a heavy
weapon is huge. I can totally see myself fielding a bunch of 5 men
squads with plasma cannons and las/plas razorbacks. Command squads
for any HQ (not just captains) is another thing I hope to see in the
next vanilla dex, and it appears GW has realized fliers need to be
pricier, which is neat. Another nice thing is that DA fliers are
stormtalon-sized, which is about as large as a flier should be.
Vendettas/dragons/stormravens are too damn big. They can't even fit
on your average shelf. Who the hell wants to lug models like that
around, let alone several of them?
DEEP
WISDOM ABOUT CHICKS, KISSING THEM, AND AN OUTLOOK ON LIFE:
An unfortunate event occurred during
this year's Serbian New Year party (it happens on 13th
January, nobody knows why, but we always celebrate it because it's
yet another reason to dance, get wasted, and stuff our faces with
highly caloric food) that we can all draw valuable lessons from.
My younger cousin, we'll refer to him
as The Captain, has arrived from Italy (where he's studying at an
university) for the winter holidays, and of course he was with us for
Serbian New Year. Now, there was a rather hot chick at the party,
we'll call her Barely Legal, who was plainly overjoyed with the fact
she was surrounded by a bunch of older guys. She was on the
prowl and not hiding it, openly eye-ing me and my cousins within
minutes of us getting there. I considered going for it,
then decided to introduce her to The Captain instead. He is, after
all, my young cousin and I wanted him to have some fine memories to
take back to Italy with him.
The two of them hit it off right away.
Barely Legal is giggling, asking him questions, lingering around him,
he seems to be handling the situation well, it's all good. And then
it drags on. And on. And on. At one point I realize they've been
talking and dancing for like two hours, yet they still aren't making
out. She's drunk and so is he. It's as perfect a situation as you can
get at a party. But no, nothing happens. I use a couple opportunities
when she's not within earshot to tell him to go for it. The Captain
still does nothing. It's like he has failed his pinning test and then
forgotten to get up at the beginning of the turn. At one point they
sit down on a leather sofa that's so narrow their hips are touching
and his arm is around her shoulder, and still he does nothing.
Then, in an impressive display of
determination and patience, Barely Legal actually puts her legs
across his lap, letting him rest his hand on her thighs and knees.
Now, stop reading for a moment and picture yourself in that
situation. A sexy, drunk chick has been talking and dancing with you
for three hours. She has probably spent the last two of those hours
wondering why you aren't kissing her yet, and has gotten so desperate
to get you to make a move that she's basically sitting in your lap.
Seriously, short of grabbing your crotch, a good looking woman can't
get more overt than that. I couldn't help but feel deep respect for
her. She must have had Stubborn, because she sure as hell didn't let
The Captain's passivity affect her morale. Anyway, by now you can
guess how this ended. The Captain didn't go for it. No touchdown was
made. Barely Legal eventually left with nothing to show for it except
a serious case of blue ovaries, and I have gained Rage.
Now, one of my life mottos is: Always
err on the side of action. What this means is that, if you're
unsure whether you should or should not do something, the answer is
always: DO IT, FAGGOT! Not certain if you should go clubbing
or stay home? Go clubbing. Can't decide whether to try a new list or
keep practicing with your old one? Give the new one a shot. Approach
that cute girl at the bar or remain in the limbo of your comfort
zone? Approach her. This of course doesn't apply when there are
serious consequences to consider (in these situations, decisions must
be made on a case-to-case basis), but if you think about it you'll
notice most dilemmas people obsess over are devoid of meaningful
consequences. By always erring on the side of action, you'll have
fewer regrets in life, and people will respect you for being decisive
and willing to plunge into the unknown.
Never is this motto as useful as when
it comes to getting rid of the inborn male dilemma of whether you
should lean over and kiss the girl you're talking to, or wait a bit
longer for... What? The perfect romance movie kiss moment? A sign
from the Emperor? For her to kiss you? Yeah right, the
only women who will do that generally have more than a passing
resemblance to a Great Unclean One. It's true that you need some
timing when it comes to sticking your tongue down a female's throat
for the first time, but why worry yourself sick over it? You've got
no investment in this chick, so what's the big deal? When you try to
kiss her and she turns her head aside, it doesn't matter because there
are no consequences. This rejection can only hurt you if you
overvalue it.
In reality, she's just some woman, and
there are billions of them in the world, and you'll never see her
again, and her opinion of you is based on a single conversation or a
single date and as such isn't an accurate reflection of your overall
quality as a human being. On the other hand, you now absolutely know
where you stand with her, so you can stop wasting time and go
hang out with your friends or hit on other girls. How do you think
The Captain feels about this entire fiasco? He's pissed off at
himself because he didn't even try to get Barely Legal's number.
That's the worst thing you can do, as then you'll always be wondering
“what if”. Therefore, always err on the side of action
and you'll live a more fulfilled life with fewer regrets.
McDonald's Western Sauce is the best
hot sauce invented by mankind. I will discover its recipe and
replicate it in my kitchen if that's the last thing I do.
